Getting antsy

As the year begins to wind down, my plans and ideas begin to wind up. I start to look back over the year and see what have been successes and what have been failures and how I can change things for next year because next year is a clean slate. It is especially "bad" (and I put that in quotes because it's not necessarily a bad thing, but bad meaning the ability to ignore has been significantly reduced) recently because I've gotten it into my head that I need to take off the training wheels that is my part time job and start to kick my business into high gear. Not exactly the smartest of decisions since the country seems to be heading into some major financial downturns, but I've never been one for completely rational thought. All I see are the possibilities and they are encouraging. 

I have been obsessed with viewing my lack of being an independent (read: free from part time job) artist as being because I haven't put all the pieces of the puzzle together, or I'm missing a key piece, like one of those jaggedy edged pieces that you really can't put it in place until pretty much the entire puzzle is put together.

However, while being rational may not be my strong point, I am still sane, and sanity tells me I need to not walk away from a sure thing until the other thing is a sure thing. (Ya got all that?) Meaning that the part time job stays because it has to. This is not the kind of situation where it's a sink or swim thing. I wouldn't work any harder if I didn't have the other job (because I already work hard enough) and casting off the regular paycheck isn't going to guarantee that the other ones will start flying in. 

I had more to go with that but I'm starting to fall asleep. Obsessing is exhausting!